Dear child you are forgiven and loved.
These words resound within my heart in an especially noteworthy way lately. I cannot sum up what I have learned here so far with simple sections and themes or theological facts and controversial issues. However, there have been moments where it as if God is leaving me profound sticky notes, I am given ideas or concepts that “stick”. One of these notions (one that happens to build the brace of Christianity) has just recently made sense to me. I am lost for an explanation as to why.
The entire gospel is overflowing with it, we are commanded to give it, it is presented without atonement but it is by no means easy to give for there IS a price that has been paid by Christ, it is grace. I guess I have struggled with this part of being a Christian. In no way am I one to abundantly offer grace yet at the same time I am particularly hesitant to receive it. My entire life I have seen God as someone carrying a cookie jar of my ever-multiplying sins and I somehow have disregarded grace. Perhaps this is because I have difficulty finding it in life today. The world is starving for grace and I have seen it in the eyes of the people such as those of the Vancouver Downtown Eastside where for most people that live there all rumours of grace simply seem like “nice thoughts” not actual practices. As Philip Yancy puts it, “Grace, like many Christian words, has been leached of its meaning and so that I can no longer trust it”. Therefore, my problem does not only lie in that I cannot always give grace as God commands me to but I also cannot locate a tangible source from which it flows without ceasing except... Christ. Believe me when I say that I know that grace is such a fundamental thing, something that should have been understood from the “get go”. It is not that I did not understand but I guess I lacked the faith to believe. Honestly, I would think that for most, the church is not the first thought that comes to mind when searching for grace. It is disappointing and discouraging because sometimes I feel like church can be a place which presents a partial gospel, lacking the maturity to live out what it claims to believe. However, I want to be different. I want to and I am determined for God to transform my heart and so I am able to finally say “You are forgiven and dearly loved without condition and forevermore” because I now finally believe and live like my almighty Father thinks this of me; completely unlovable and undeserving yet fully forgiven.
The entire gospel is overflowing with it, we are commanded to give it, it is presented without atonement but it is by no means easy to give for there IS a price that has been paid by Christ, it is grace. I guess I have struggled with this part of being a Christian. In no way am I one to abundantly offer grace yet at the same time I am particularly hesitant to receive it. My entire life I have seen God as someone carrying a cookie jar of my ever-multiplying sins and I somehow have disregarded grace. Perhaps this is because I have difficulty finding it in life today. The world is starving for grace and I have seen it in the eyes of the people such as those of the Vancouver Downtown Eastside where for most people that live there all rumours of grace simply seem like “nice thoughts” not actual practices. As Philip Yancy puts it, “Grace, like many Christian words, has been leached of its meaning and so that I can no longer trust it”. Therefore, my problem does not only lie in that I cannot always give grace as God commands me to but I also cannot locate a tangible source from which it flows without ceasing except... Christ. Believe me when I say that I know that grace is such a fundamental thing, something that should have been understood from the “get go”. It is not that I did not understand but I guess I lacked the faith to believe. Honestly, I would think that for most, the church is not the first thought that comes to mind when searching for grace. It is disappointing and discouraging because sometimes I feel like church can be a place which presents a partial gospel, lacking the maturity to live out what it claims to believe. However, I want to be different. I want to and I am determined for God to transform my heart and so I am able to finally say “You are forgiven and dearly loved without condition and forevermore” because I now finally believe and live like my almighty Father thinks this of me; completely unlovable and undeserving yet fully forgiven.
Whoa.
ReplyDeleteIt is profound to realize that God threw away the cookie jar long ago.
Katie you took the word right outta my mouth.
ReplyDeleteProfound.
It is great to hear what you are learning Christie.